I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
