Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Sorry my hands just texted you
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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