everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
