His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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