summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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