Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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