I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
