That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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