After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
