And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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