Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
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I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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