Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
