Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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