im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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