so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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