After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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