i just had sex bonerless
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
