You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
