I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Lo siento on account of my penis...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
