her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
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no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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