Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
