I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
