Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He felt like a one man threesome
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
