I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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