If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
