i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
