Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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