You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
