she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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