how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
