I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
