she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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