Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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