drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
