Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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