A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just cut my nipple shaving
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
