wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
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