ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
