Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
