Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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