So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
do herpes really smell.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
