now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
you win again, gameday.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
