I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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