i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
