Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
