Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
