tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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