Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
