As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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