I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You smell like stripper and shame
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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