You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
he was CRYING into my vagina
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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