I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
