1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
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