i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
as a side note pls kill me
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