haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
