She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
