Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
