Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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