did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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