That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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