This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
