I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
