God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
