A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
