i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
